Social Media During Divorce in Nevada: What You Should—and Shouldn’t—Post
Our Family Matters Podcast — Episode 1
By Keith Pickard and Jordan Garcia, Attorneys and Partners at Nevada Family Law Group
Social media can create real problems during a divorce or child custody case.
A post that seemed harmless when you published it can look very different when it is printed, placed in front of a judge, and presented without the context you thought was obvious. Comments about your former spouse, photos from a party, arguments online, and even posts made by friends or family can potentially become part of a family law dispute.
In the first episode of Our Family Matters, Nevada family law attorneys Keith Pickard and Jordan Garcia discuss how social media can affect divorce and custody cases and what people should consider before posting while litigation is pending.
The simplest rule?
Before you post anything, consider how it would look if the other side displayed it in court.
Key Takeaways
Social media posts can potentially become evidence in divorce and child custody litigation.
A post does not always communicate the context you intended.
Negative comments about a co-parent can create unnecessary problems, particularly when children may see them.
Photos involving alcohol, parties, children, relationships, or other sensitive subjects can be interpreted differently during litigation.
Posts by relatives, friends, or a new significant other can sometimes complicate matters too.
If something online could become an issue in your case, tell your attorney before they discover it in the courtroom.
If you choose to use social media during litigation, thoughtful and truthful communication is generally safer than public conflict.
Watch: Social Media and Divorce — The Dos and Don’ts
In Episode 1 of Our Family Matters, Keith Pickard and Jordan Garcia discuss what they have seen happen when social media and family court collide.
Prefer to listen? Hear it on Spotify.
Can Social Media Be Used Against You in a Divorce?
Potentially, yes.
One of the recurring points Keith and Jordan make in the episode is that people often treat social media differently from other written communication. People say things impulsively, joke with friends, vent about their former spouse, or post photos without considering how those posts may appear later.
Keith compares the warning he gives clients to a Miranda warning:
“Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.”
That does not mean every social media post automatically becomes admissible evidence or determines the outcome of a case. But information published online can become relevant to disputed issues and may be presented as evidence depending on the circumstances.
Keith describes a recent case in which something his client posted online became “Exhibit #1” in the other party's motion.
The larger point is simple: once litigation begins, your audience is no longer necessarily just your friends and followers.
Your former spouse, their attorney, and potentially the court may eventually see what you post.
What About My First Amendment Rights?
You still have them.
Jordan describes clients who have responded to concerns about their social media activity by saying that they have a First Amendment right to say what they want.
His response is essentially: you may have the right to say it, but that does not mean saying it cannot have consequences in your case.
Having the legal ability to post something and deciding that posting it is a good idea are two different questions.
Divorce and custody litigation can place ordinary behavior under considerably more scrutiny than it would receive in everyday life.
How Can Social Media Affect a Child Custody Case?
Social media itself is not a separate Nevada child custody factor. However, what someone posts may become relevant to issues that courts do consider when evaluating a child's best interests.
That can include the level of conflict between parents, their ability to cooperate regarding the child's needs, and whether a parent supports the child's continuing relationship with the other parent.
This is one reason Keith and Jordan repeatedly caution against publicly attacking a co-parent.
A frustrated post about your former spouse may feel like venting to adults. But if the child can see it—or if it reflects ongoing hostility between the parents—it may take on a very different significance during a custody dispute.
Keith gives a straightforward example in the episode: publicly calling the other parent names can create an uncomfortable question in court when the child has access to the same social media platforms.
The safest audience to imagine when posting during a custody case may not be your Facebook friends.
Imagine the judge reading it.
Context Matters—and Social Media Is Bad at Context
One of the strongest themes in the episode is what Jordan describes as the “optics” of a post.
Consider a photo taken at a party.
You may know that the drink in your hand contains no alcohol. You may know that your children were completely safe. You may know what happened immediately before and after the photo.
A judge looking at a screenshot does not necessarily have any of that context.
They see the photograph.
Keith and Jordan discuss how a picture containing what appears to be alcohol, a party environment, or other circumstances that can be interpreted negatively may create questions that would never have existed if the photograph had not been posted.
That does not mean a photograph proves misconduct.
It means you may now have to spend time explaining something that never needed to become an issue.
That is an important distinction.
An Innocent Post Can Look Different During Litigation
Jordan describes another situation involving a completely innocent family moment that became contentious because of the context of the custody dispute.
Outside litigation, the photo probably would have appeared harmless.
Inside a contested family law case, the other parent interpreted the same situation very differently and attempted to turn it into a larger issue.
That example illustrates one of the most useful lessons from the episode:
Do not evaluate a post only by what you know it means. Consider how someone who disagrees with you could characterize it.
That doesn't mean you should live in fear of social media.
It means that during active litigation, a little restraint can prevent unnecessary disputes.
Should You Post About Your Ex During a Divorce?
Generally, turning social media into a battlefield rarely helps.
Keith and Jordan discuss seeing posts containing insults, accusations, sarcastic comments, jokes, and other attacks directed toward the other parent.
Those comments can create multiple problems.
They may intensify conflict between the parties. Children may eventually see them. Friends or relatives may become involved. And the statements may later be shown to the court.
Even a joke can land differently when removed from its original context.
Keith describes a case involving a post a parent apparently thought was funny.
The judge did not.
That is the audience problem again.
The person who matters most in a contested case may interpret your joke very differently from the people who follow you online.
Can Positive Social Media Posts Help?
Keith and Jordan also discuss the opposite situation.
They have seen supportive comments about a co-parent used to demonstrate that a parent is encouraging the child's relationship with the other parent.
For example, congratulating the other parent on an activity with the child or showing genuine support for the child's relationship with both parents can communicate something very different from constant criticism and hostility.
That does not mean you should manufacture flattering posts because you think they will look good in court.
Social media should not become a staged litigation strategy.
The practical takeaway from the episode is simpler:
If you are going to say something publicly, positivity is usually better than hostility.
And sometimes the best post is no post at all.
Your Friends and Family Can Create Problems Too
Your own account is not the only one worth thinking about.
Keith and Jordan discuss situations involving posts and comments from relatives, friends, and significant others.
Imagine that you avoid publicly criticizing your former spouse, but a family member repeatedly attacks them in comments underneath your posts.
That can still create unnecessary questions.
In one example discussed during the episode, a relative posted something negative about the other parent. The client immediately responded and told the relative not to talk about the co-parent that way.
According to Keith and Jordan, that response mattered because it demonstrated that the parent was actively trying to stop the behavior rather than encouraging it.
You cannot control everything another adult says online.
You can control whether you participate in it, encourage it, or make reasonable efforts to shut it down.
What If My Social Media Account Is Private?
Privacy settings can reduce who has direct access to your posts, particularly when children are involved.
But “private” should not be confused with “guaranteed to stay private.”
Other people may still see your content. Friends or relatives may discuss it. Screenshots may exist. Someone else may post photos involving you or your children.
Keith and Jordan's broader recommendation is not to rely on privacy settings as permission to post something you would otherwise be uncomfortable having discussed in your case.
What Should I Do If I've Already Posted Something That Could Be a Problem?
Tell your attorney.
One of the worst scenarios Keith and Jordan describe is being surprised by their own client's social media during a hearing.
If opposing counsel presents a screenshot your attorney has never seen before, there may be very little time to understand the context or determine how best to respond.
Do not assume something is harmless simply because you meant it to be harmless.
If you are concerned that a post, message, photograph, comment, or other online activity could affect your case, discuss it with your attorney.
And before deleting, changing, or otherwise trying to “fix” potentially relevant information, ask your attorney what you should do.
Social Media Dos and Don'ts During Divorce
Do:
Think before posting.
Ask how the post could look without the context you have in your head.Keep conflict offline.
Social media is rarely the right place to resolve problems with a spouse or co-parent.Remember that children may eventually see your posts.
Even if they do not follow you today, online content has a way of traveling.Pay attention to what others post involving you or your children.
Your account is not the only source of online content.Tell your attorney about potential problems.
Surprises are usually harder to address than issues your attorney knows about beforehand.
Don’t:
Use social media to attack your spouse or co-parent.
Post impulsively because you're angry.
Assume a joke will be interpreted the way you intended.
Assume photos explain themselves.
Encourage friends or relatives to publicly attack the other parent.
Assume a private account means your posts can never become part of the dispute.
The Bottom Line
Social media probably will not decide your Nevada divorce or custody case by itself.
But it can create evidence, generate conflict, raise questions, and force you and your attorney to explain issues that might never have existed otherwise.
As Keith explains in the episode, family court can place parts of your life “under the microscope.” Judges have limited information about what happens inside a family, so the information placed before them can take on greater importance than you expected.
Before publishing something during a divorce or custody dispute, consider one question:
Would I still post this if I knew it might eventually be shown to the judge?
If the answer is no, reconsider posting it.
Episode Chapters
00:00 — Introduction: Social media and divorce
00:36 — Why attorneys warn clients about social media
01:18 — When a social media post becomes evidence
01:47 — First Amendment rights vs. courtroom consequences
02:10 — Posting children and protecting privacy
03:24 — Negative comments and positive co-parenting
04:06 — How an innocent party photo can be misinterpreted
05:49 — Posts from friends and family members
06:19 — When an innocent family photo becomes a custody issue
08:37 — Using social media posts in court
09:18 — Why attacking your ex online can backfire
10:02 — Positive co-parenting online
11:36 — Managing comments from friends, family, and significant others
13:56 — Judges, perception, and the “courtroom microscope”
14:16 — What to do when problematic content exists
16:06 — Why putting arguments in writing matters
16:54 — Final advice and when to speak with an attorney
Frequently Asked Questions About Social Media and Divorce
Can social media posts be used in a Nevada divorce?
Social media content may potentially be used during divorce or custody litigation depending on the content, its relevance, how it is presented, and the circumstances of the case. A post does not automatically determine the outcome of a case simply because it exists.
Should I delete social media during a divorce?
Do not make assumptions about what should be deleted or preserved once litigation is underway. If you have existing posts you are concerned about, speak with your attorney before changing or deleting potentially relevant material.
Can posts about my ex affect child custody?
They potentially can. Public hostility toward a co-parent may become relevant when it relates to issues being disputed in a custody case, particularly when children could be exposed to the conflict.
Can posts from my family or friends affect my case?
They can create issues even when you did not personally write them. You cannot control everything another person posts, but how you respond to inappropriate comments may matter.
Is a private social media account safe during divorce?
Privacy settings can restrict access but cannot guarantee that information will never be shared, screenshotted, discussed, or otherwise become known during litigation.
Should I stop using social media completely?
There is no universal answer for every case. The safer approach is to discuss your specific situation with your attorney and be especially cautious about anything involving your spouse, co-parent, children, finances, relationships, travel, alcohol, or the pending case.
Talk With a Nevada Family Law Attorney
General information can help you understand potential issues, but divorce and child custody cases are highly fact-specific.
If you are going through a divorce or custody dispute and are concerned about social media—or any other issue affecting your case—the attorneys at Nevada Family Law Group can help you understand your options.
Nevada Family Law Group offers a free initial consultation.
Contact Us Today
About the Attorneys
Keith Pickard and Jordan Garcia are attorneys and partners at Nevada Family Law Group. On the Our Family Matters podcast, they discuss Nevada divorce, child custody, and other family law issues using practical insight from their experience representing clients in family court.
This article is provided for general informational purposes only and is not legal advice. All legal matters depend on the specific facts and circumstances involved. Consult an attorney to determine which state, federal, and international laws apply to your case. Reading this article or watching the podcast does not create an attorney-client relationship.
Full Episode Transcript
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00:00:00 Jordan
Welcome to the Our Family Matters podcast.
00:00:03 Jordan
This is attorney Jordan Garcia.
00:00:05 Jordan
I'm a partner here at Nevada Family Law Group.
00:00:07 Keith
And I'm Keith Pickard, an attorney and partner here as well.
00:00:11 Jordan
I told the story a few times about my client who's telling me about how people make money on social media.
00:00:16 Jordan
And I had to, he said it like a little kid to me, right?
00:00:19 Jordan
And I said to him, I'm like, do you make money on social media?
00:00:23 Jordan
And you know, it's like, he's like, and he had just like your teenager, right?
00:00:27 Jordan
Like I'm dad talking, he's just like,
00:00:29 Jordan
No.
00:00:32 Jordan
And it was hilarious, but I was just like, stop then.
00:00:36 Keith
Yeah.
00:00:36 Keith
Well, you know, it amazes me sometimes how people don't really pay attention to what they put on social media.
00:00:43 Keith
They're just, you know, it's an expression, right?
00:00:46 Keith
It's a medium where they can say, they feel like they can say whatever they want to say, but they don't consider the repercussions.
00:00:55 Keith
You know, obviously we put that in our retainer agreement as a warning for a reason.
00:00:59 Keith
And I like the Miranda warning.
00:01:01 Keith
That's in my consults.
00:01:02 Keith
I usually tell people, this is just like the Miranda warning.
00:01:06 Keith
Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
00:01:09 Keith
And that's especially true on social media because people are generally more feel more free to say what they feel.
00:01:16 Keith
And my case today was all about that.
00:01:18 Keith
Well, in part about that, where my client had said some things on social media he just should not have said.
00:01:25 Keith
And it comes up, it's exhibit #1 in their motion.
00:01:31 Keith
And now it doesn't change the custody outcome because we don't punish parents generally for what they say unless it's to the kid.
00:01:41 Keith
But yeah, I mean, it's important.
00:01:43 Keith
Be aware of what your audience might do with this.
00:01:47 Jordan
They do.
00:01:47 Jordan
But what I've had in a couple of cases where at least the clients will complain to me is like, well, I have a First Amendment right to say what I want to say.
00:01:55 Jordan
And my answer to them is, you do have a First Amendment right to say what you want to say, but it can be used against you in court.
00:02:02 Jordan
So buyer beware, right?
00:02:04 Jordan
Beware of what you're going to say because there's nothing that says that can't be used against you.
00:02:08 Jordan
Yeah, you can say whatever you want.
00:02:10 Jordan
The other part that comes in usually is when they say to me,
00:02:14 Jordan
And it's a complaint like, well, you're putting the kids in the social media, right?
00:02:17 Jordan
It's something to that effect that they're, you know, don't talk about the kids on social media.
00:02:22 Jordan
And it's like, well, look, there's a balance, right?
00:02:26 Jordan
It's like everything, there's a balance.
00:02:28 Jordan
You can put your kids on social media, but if you've got like a nine-year-old little girl, understand the times that we live in, there's concern that that's going to lead to either some type of, you know, sexual predation because it's online,
00:02:42 Jordan
or that you're gonna have other bad actors say or do something.
00:02:45 Jordan
Now, the odds of that, of course, are close to nothing.
00:02:49 Jordan
But that's the perception.
00:02:50 Jordan
And when you're in court, it's all about perception.
00:02:53 Jordan
It's all about the optics.
00:02:54 Jordan
So do you wanna go to the judge and argue that I should be able to put my nine-year-old little girl looking all dressed up and cute online when the other parent's saying, But there's other bad people looking at that.
00:03:07 Jordan
Maybe you want to take one step to try to protect that.
00:03:11 Jordan
Can you at least make it private so only family members can see it?
00:03:14 Jordan
Can you show the court that you're doing something to address the concern, not just like, well, it's my kid.
00:03:21 Jordan
I can put him online.
00:03:22 Jordan
It's not a good look.
00:03:24 Keith
The thing that I see more than anything else is the negative comments in social media, whether it's about the kids or not.
00:03:33 Keith
the kids have access to it and that's what the judges are going to be most interested in protecting from, right?
00:03:38 Keith
Let's not put this out in front of the kids.
00:03:42 Keith
And if you're going to post, post the positive.
00:03:45 Keith
You know, we hear about the downside of social media is that it's a one-sided view of your life, right?
00:03:51 Keith
Everybody's living the best life and it's not very real.
00:03:56 Keith
well that's okay in divorce context you know put out that positive stuff and if you can put out positive things about your co-parent even better they're not going to use it against you.
00:04:06 Jordan
Absolutely and that's that's a great way to get them to do it it's just people don't understand it they don't understand that yeah that time with even without the kid when you're in social media and you're at a party and you're holding this uh you know unknown liquid in a
00:04:23 Jordan
glass in a huge container and somebody says they're drinking, you know, mounds of alcohol.
00:04:29 Jordan
Look how much alcohol they're drinking.
00:04:30 Jordan
Of course, you can't tell from the photo what's in there, but you've got a party scene in the background.
00:04:35 Jordan
You've got maybe looks like somebody has a beer can in some hand somewhere else in the in the scene.
00:04:40 Jordan
People are going to make potentially the wrong assumption that you brought your kids to a party and you're drinking.
00:04:45 Keith
Yeah.
00:04:46 Jordan
And so maybe you need to take that thought like maybe I shouldn't post that photo.
00:04:51 Jordan
at least the one with you that has an unknown liquid in a glass that could be alcohol could not be because a judge has to look at it from a neutral perspective and say well I don't know but if I'm trying to protect a child I see you sir with a in a party other people have alcohol I have to be concerned that maybe you are drinking alcohol and you brought your kid to this party yeah it's probably not the case probably you weren't drunk.
00:05:19 Keith
And the kids don't even have to be in the picture.
00:05:20 Keith
But if it's your parenting time and you're at a party, that's the assumption.
00:05:24 Jordan
That's the assumption, right.
00:05:25 Jordan
And so all the optics, it's, yeah, you can do it.
00:05:29 Jordan
But think, think about it.
00:05:32 Jordan
Think about how it could be used and don't just start, especially once you're in a divorce, right?
00:05:36 Jordan
Because when you're not in the divorce, nobody cares, nobody cares.
00:05:40 Jordan
It's all good.
00:05:41 Jordan
But then when it is put in, bam, it's a totally different story.
00:05:45 Jordan
Once you got the divorce or child custody, just
00:05:48 Jordan
Everything is out there.
00:05:49 Jordan
And family members too, right?
00:05:51 Jordan
That's the other thing.
00:05:52 Jordan
It's like, well, your family's posting something with your kids.
00:05:58 Jordan
That could be a problem too.
00:06:00 Jordan
If it's not a photo that's, you know, they're not just sitting at grandma's house opening presents.
00:06:05 Jordan
All right, that's fine, right?
00:06:07 Jordan
But if it's, again, that party situation or if it looks like the child's being unattended or some kind of misconstrued of the situation,
00:06:16 Jordan
and it's posted on social media.
00:06:19 Jordan
An example I just had recently is my client has a child that is autistic.
00:06:28 Jordan
There's six kids, right?
00:06:30 Jordan
Bunch of boys, there's only one girl.
00:06:32 Jordan
They're into boxing.
00:06:34 Jordan
The brothers.
00:06:36 Jordan
So of course the autistic one, he likes what his brothers, he says his brothers are doing their informal boxing, they like to do the boxing.
00:06:43 Jordan
And he wants to do boxing too, right?
00:06:45 Jordan
Because that's what his brothers do.
00:06:47 Jordan
So the client is like, well, you know, OK, put on some gloves and we'll just kind of fake spar kind of thing.
00:06:57 Jordan
And it was a real cute photo, right?
00:06:58 Jordan
If you're seeing it's just a family and you understand the circumstances outside of a divorce situation, you're like, oh, this is good.
00:07:04 Jordan
The autistic kid, he's doing something with his mom.
00:07:07 Jordan
His brothers are into it and it's just very innocuous.
00:07:11 Jordan
Now, put that in that divorce situation that we had, and Dan's freaking out, How dare you teach my autistic son violence?
00:07:19 Jordan
You know, and you're boxing with him, he's hitting his mom, and it became this whole huge, um, you know, thing where it should have been innocuous, right?
00:07:31 Jordan
And, uh, that's...
00:07:33 Jordan
There's not a good answer to that.
00:07:35 Jordan
Ultimately, it's, okay, let's find solutions, but do you really want to argue with that in front of a judge?
00:07:41 Jordan
No.
00:07:41 Keith
Yeah, and the thing I find interesting is the words that usually go with those photos, right?
00:07:48 Keith
They weren't thought through.
00:07:50 Keith
This is why I said before, I'd say something positive.
00:07:53 Keith
You're much more likely to get a positive response if you're positive in the message, especially when you're talking about your co-parent.
00:08:01 Keith
So often we see that the snide remarks, the little offhanded remarks, the jokes or what was, that came up today in my hearing where, dad posted something that he thought was funny and it wasn't really funny.
00:08:19 Keith
At least the judge didn't think it was funny.
00:08:21 Keith
And that's the only, in a contested divorce situation, that's the only opinion that really matters.
00:08:27 Keith
And so, I tell people all the time, pay attention to what you're saying because it might make a difference and be positive if you can.
00:08:37 Jordan
And it's usable in court, it's usable in trial, and it's used all the time.
00:08:41 Jordan
I mean, it's evidence, I would say at least 50% of the cases.
00:08:47 Keith
And it's your words.
00:08:49 Keith
They're using your words against you.
00:08:51 Keith
Maybe not the way you intended to mean them, but they're using your words against you and those are the most credible statements they can find.
00:08:59 Jordan
Right, because you didn't know you were under this camera of the court looking at you and you, oh, you said this, you did this, you sent it out to other people.
00:09:09 Jordan
Now you published it.
00:09:10 Keith
And if they're false statements, that publication now may have some legal implications attached to them.
00:09:18 Jordan
The other thing is, don't use it to attack the other person.
00:09:21 Jordan
I've had that come up.
00:09:22 Jordan
social media it's you know my ex is so and so this and so and so that and it's published out there and then you bring that into the courtroom why are you telling the you know your your ex or soon to be ex
00:09:39 Jordan
You know, calling them the names that the child can see this.
00:09:41 Jordan
Your child has access to social media 'cause kids have probably more access than you do, know how to get around.
00:09:47 Jordan
And they're gonna see this and they're gonna see that you're calling dad a so-and-so to all of, you know, friends and family members and the judges don't like it.
00:09:59 Jordan
It just doesn't come across well.
00:10:02 Jordan
The positive though, I've seen it go the other way.
00:10:04 Jordan
The positive can be used in court too as trial where we say,
00:10:07 Jordan
Look at dad encouraging the child to have this thing or being the cheerleader for the mom.
00:10:15 Jordan
Hey, you're having a great time at the baseball game with Susie.
00:10:19 Jordan
Great.
00:10:20 Jordan
You know, like that cheerleading stuff actually shows, hey, I want to be a co-parent.
00:10:24 Jordan
I want to encourage a relationship with the other parent.
00:10:29 Jordan
It can be a positive to just.
00:10:32 Jordan
not just the negative.
00:10:33 Jordan
And that's actually sometimes way more powerful than the negative stuff.
00:10:37 Keith
Yeah, that's been my experience.
00:10:39 Keith
In fact, when I've had clients in the past that have said some negative things.
00:10:45 Keith
And so I encourage them to go out and say some positive things because that can be just as effective.
00:10:51 Keith
If not neutralizing their argument, it can show that we're meeting the factors that the court has to look at in terms of encouraging that relationship.
00:11:00 Keith
So it's always a good idea to be positive.
00:11:02 Keith
And it never hurts your case.
00:11:04 Keith
That's the thing.
00:11:05 Keith
People have said to me, well, won't that hurt the case because now I'm kind of
00:11:12 Keith
admitting things or saying things that they're positive, but I really don't think they should have the kids.
00:11:18 Keith
And, okay, there may be a balance to be struck there, but at the end of the day, positive remarks about the co-parent are never viewed negatively.
00:11:26 Keith
And so it's a good use of social media.
00:11:30 Keith
If you feel compelled to use social media, be positive.
00:11:33 Keith
Just leave the negative stuff out.
00:11:35 Keith
It doesn't help anybody.
00:11:36 Jordan
And encourage family, friends to be on the same page.
00:11:40 Keith
Absolutely.
00:11:41 Jordan
Because judges forget this question and issue.
00:11:45 Jordan
Well, you're saying all this stuff, but on the same page I see here, your mom said this.
00:11:52 Jordan
The judge is like, are you ready?
00:11:54 Jordan
Then it starts looking fake.
00:11:56 Jordan
Then it starts looking.
00:11:57 Jordan
So like be responsive.
00:11:59 Jordan
That's the other thing I always tell clients, like, look, if you've got your new significant other and they really hate the other side, valid or not,
00:12:11 Jordan
Tell them to just stay away.
00:12:12 Jordan
Stay away, you know, unless they can say something positive.
00:12:17 Jordan
Unless they can be encouraging, just stay away from it as far as possible.
00:12:22 Keith
And if heaven forbid they, and I had this happen a year or so ago, where they didn't invite the family member, it was kind of a distance, I think it was like a cousin who lived in the neighborhood.
00:12:34 Keith
They said something about mom and dad did the right thing.
00:12:38 Keith
Dad jumped in and said, hey, don't talk to her, don't put that
00:12:41 Keith
out there don't say that right and so and it was right afterwards so dad was obviously responding in an appropriate way telling family hey don't do that and and it ended up not being an issue at trial.
00:12:53 Jordan
And that actually almost does more for you than anything because it shows you're taking an active involvement in managing the social media it's
00:13:03 Jordan
It's not just something, well, it's out there in space and so how, you know, I don't have anything to do with it.
00:13:08 Jordan
That's just other people.
00:13:09 Keith
Oh, it's unlikely the kid will see this.
00:13:11 Keith
Right.
00:13:11 Keith
It doesn't matter to the judge that they might is enough.
00:13:14 Jordan
Right.
00:13:15 Jordan
And that's what people I think miss so many times is they don't get it.
00:13:20 Jordan
Yes, that may be true outside of the microscope of the court, but in the microscope,
00:13:27 Jordan
The real world kind of doesn't, doesn't, isn't in play.
00:13:30 Jordan
This is the court world.
00:13:32 Jordan
And in the court world, under that microscope, these things matter, a matter outsized of what they should.
00:13:39 Jordan
But that's the reality of the court system.
00:13:42 Jordan
The court has so few things to address, to understand what's going on in your kids' lives, what's going on.
00:13:48 Jordan
They don't have a lot of information.
00:13:49 Jordan
So every little glimmer, every little piece,
00:13:52 Jordan
has an outsized impact because that's all the judge has to work with.
00:13:56 Keith
Right.
00:13:56 Keith
And judges are human, right?
00:13:58 Keith
They're social mirrors as much as anybody else is.
00:14:00 Keith
They interpret what they see from their own experience.
00:14:05 Keith
And so they may be completely wrong, but there's no other way to inform them, right?
00:14:11 Keith
So don't give them the ammunition in the 1st place.
00:14:13 Keith
Don't give them the reason to think that you're the bad actor.
00:14:16 Jordan
So yeah, always watch what you're watch what you're posting, watch what your kids are posting, watch what your family is posting.
00:14:25 Jordan
And if you need to remediate it, remediate it, try to fix things that come up that shouldn't be there.
00:14:31 Jordan
And obviously it nothing worse than when we don't know about it.
00:14:36 Jordan
And then we get the surprise.
00:14:37 Jordan
So tell us, right?
00:14:38 Jordan
Like you get all of a sudden you go into the hearing, here's this message and you're like to the client, you're like,
00:14:44 Jordan
You didn't tell me about that.
00:14:47 Keith
Yeah, Those are always awkward moments in the court.
00:14:51 Jordan
Yeah, I mean, you're just kind of stuck there.
00:14:53 Jordan
You're like, all right, I got to come up with something.
00:14:57 Keith
And often we can't.
00:14:59 Keith
It's like, what do we say to that?
00:15:01 Keith
you call your co-parent all these vulgar names, but there is no response.
00:15:08 Keith
And so it just sits there.
00:15:09 Keith
And if opposing counsel does it right, they're going to let it sit there for a while.
00:15:14 Keith
They're going to let that judge think about this.
00:15:16 Keith
And then you're stuck.
00:15:18 Keith
There's not much you can do at that point.
00:15:20 Keith
Although at that point, you can say, well, look at all these positive things he said, right, if he said it, or she said.
00:15:26 Keith
And that's, you know, we're talking about
00:15:27 Keith
about him a lot.
00:15:28 Keith
But my experience has been I've seen women just as aggressive on social media, less so than they might be in person.
00:15:36 Keith
And so it works both ways.
00:15:39 Jordan
Oh yeah, I don't think there's any difference between sexes as far as...
00:15:44 Jordan
what who puts what out there or who's more aggressive.
00:15:47 Jordan
I'd say it's equal.
00:15:48 Jordan
I think I think the it's the it's again that openness, right?
00:15:52 Jordan
Yeah, it's the internet and it's the it's the social media.
00:15:54 Jordan
I can throw anything out there and so kind of the social mores that would normally be in place are removed and people feel like yeah, we can we can I can say anything.
00:16:04 Jordan
I can say anything.
00:16:05 Keith
Yeah.
00:16:06 Keith
Well, I've had cases where one parent is really good about not putting it in writing where the other one does.
00:16:12 Keith
And so then it seems
00:16:13 Keith
is lopsided.
00:16:14 Keith
Oh, this one side is just attacking the other.
00:16:17 Keith
Where the reality is, in person, the other is being just as aggressive, but they're sharp enough to know, don't put it in writing.
00:16:26 Keith
That happens all the time.
00:16:27 Jordan
That does too.
00:16:28 Jordan
And then they come in and they say, but they're saying this stuff too.
00:16:32 Jordan
And you're like, but they're not putting it in writing.
00:16:36 Jordan
Yeah.
00:16:38 Jordan
And at the end of the day, that's what counts, evidence.
00:16:40 Jordan
And if we can't prove it, then we get what your word is against their word.
00:16:44 Jordan
That's not the best place to be.
00:16:47 Jordan
This evidence of showing you writing stuff, much better evidence for them.
00:16:52 Jordan
So don't do that.
00:16:52 Keith
So don't do it.
00:16:54 Keith
If you're watching this or you're listening to this and you have other questions, other suggestions, things you want us to talk about when it comes to social media,
00:17:05 Keith
Reach out.
00:17:06 Keith
Talk to us.
00:17:07 Keith
You can contact us through the website.
00:17:10 Keith
You can reach out through social media.
00:17:13 Keith
We do look at that.
00:17:15 Keith
And ask your questions.
00:17:17 Keith
If you want personal advice, call our office.
00:17:19 Keith
Set up a time for a consult.
00:17:22 Keith
We do free consults.
00:17:24 Jordan
And that's the best way if you've got questions specific to yourself, to your situation, come in, talk to an attorney, ask your questions.
00:17:33 Jordan
We do have free consults.
00:17:35 Jordan
that will get you your specific questions to your situation answered.
00:17:40 Jordan
Otherwise, you know, we can talk a lot about general stuff, but family law is absolutely specific to everybody's case.
00:17:47 Jordan
Each situation is unique and so you really need to talk with an attorney if you want to get advice specific to your situation.
00:17:56 Keith
And we should probably be careful when we talk about free consults.
00:18:00 Jordan
The first consult is free.
00:18:01 Keith
Yeah, the first consult is free.
00:18:02 Jordan
Again and again for free consults.
00:18:05 Jordan
That's not quite how it works.
00:18:06 Keith
But they do need to talk to an attorney, not a paralegal, not their neighbor who's been through this.
00:18:13 Jordan
Or Google's law degree.
00:18:15 Keith
Yeah, Your Google search does not equal a law degree.
00:18:18 Keith
That's right.
00:18:21 Keith
So, thank you for listening.
00:18:23 Keith
We are here to answer your questions.
00:18:27 Keith
If you have any other questions, feel free to reach out to us.
00:18:30 Keith
And that should do it for the day.
00:18:32 Jordan
Appreciate it.